For the last fourish months, I’ve said, “I have a strong feeling about my baby, about our little Beedoh. I just know it’s a girl. I’ve dreamed about giving birth and it’s always a girl. Everyone I’ve talked to has said it would be a girl. I just know.” I was almost positive about it. There was always a little doubt, but never enough to make me question that I knew.
Well, on Monday, October 6th, Vince and I went to the doctor for our gender ultrasound. I laid on the table. The ultrasound tech (who was incredibly kind, patient, and awesome at her job, by the way) squirted some warm gel on my belly, and sat down to get started. She placed the wand on my belly, moved it around a moment until we could see the baby, and then, bam, there it was. My little baby was a sweet, little boy! My first view of him in that ultrasound very, very clearly showed us that.
I wasn’t sure how I was going to react if it was a boy and not a girl–I’d been so sure for so long. But when I saw that he was a boy, a heartbeat later I thought, “How in the world could I have ever thought this baby was a girl? Of course he’s a boy.” I was laughing then, because I watched my son, my baby boy, show us his business, and then promptly fold his legs up under himself as if to say, “There. Now you know. Quit calling me she.” He then made our ultrasound tech work for probably fifteen minutes to get a nice view of his profile. He wasn’t in the mood for photos, I guess, but after a while, he let us get a look at him, and never in my life have I been so thrilled, so excited, or so nervous to see a beautiful, blurry little face.
You guys, I’m going to have a son. I’m going to have a tiny little baby-Vince running around, doing all kinds of wonderful, gross, sweet, crazy, off the wall things. I’m going to have a sweet, sticky boy to hug and love. I’m going to have a boy.
I know that both parents raise a child, whether it’s a boy or a girl, but I’m really thankful that I have a husband who I know will be the perfect role model for our little boy. I can see the type of man my son has to look up to, and that gives me a lot of peace for our son’s future.
I can’t wait to meet our son, to learn his quirks, his likes, and his dislikes. I can’t wait to comfort him when he’s upset and to laugh with him when he’s silly. I can’t wait to make him birthday cakes and give him surprises. I can’t wait for every single second of his life. But part of me is sad for every second that passes, because eventually, I’ll have to share him. But for now, I’m thankful he’s still all mine, that I get to feel him with me every second of every day.
I could go on for hours and pages about how I’m feeling, but let me just say this. I’ve never, in my entire life, been more excited for anything in my life than becoming a mom to this sweet little man.